To Brave the Bare or Rock a Bush?

pubic hair

DISCLAIMER: If you know me personally, but don’t want to know me that personally, do not read this!

For those of you reading on – you might know that I am not shy. In fact, I love a good dive into a topic that some of society might see as taboo. Today I want to talk about women’s private parts – more specifically, the act of trimming and pruning our lady gardens.

I was literally going to head to the salon today to get some “hollywood” treatment (pun intended), but then I read this article and got thinking. Why do I wax down nether, and, should I?

The article grabs your attention quickly, asking “how do you tell a gold medal winning cyclists she needs to stop getting bikini waxes”? Throughout the read you learn that leaving nature in it’s place and having a good old bush actually helps prevent saddle sores. How you might ask?

  1. removing hair (i.e. shaving or waxing) typically damages the skin, making the area prone to further irritation and more at risk of infection
  2. believe it or not a thick bustle of hair adds a layer of protection between your precious parts and the cycle saddle, and
  3. hair helps with the wicking away and evaporation of sweat.

Given the above, and imagining the intense, sweaty, non-stop training lifestyle of a competitive female cyclist, it becomes pretty evident how hair removal might just cause more trouble than pleasure. But what about for all us moderately active or straight up couch potato women of the world?

Athlete or not, boxes get hot and sweaty! The groin area is packed with both apocrine and eccrine sweat glands. This means that we can get sweaty down there for pretty well any reason. I’m sweating my cooch off just writing this blog 😳 ! Now, remember we said hair removal practices typically cause damage to the skin, increasing risk of infection? Well this includes STIs like herpes, warts, or HIV. Where nasty little viruses and bacteria have easy access to the body through skin lesions (these may be microscopic btw), risk of infection is always elevated. The list of potential health concerns associated with shaving and waxing go on. To me, this, + the pain of the process of getting a wax, provides sound reason for leaving my bush in place. So why do we young women go for the bare look anyways? We sure as hell aren’t doing it for ourselves (ok maybe a few of  you  truly are).

Thank you society! Yet another unhealthy way in which you have interfered with the perceptions of women and beauty. I can’t even begin to imagine what persuaded Playboy to move from bush to bare, but it sure has created a generation of young men that see the “bare” vagina as the “norm”. To be honest, I just don’t get what the “positives” association with this imagery of the ideal vagina are. Personally, the bare freaks me out. The image it generates in my mind, is youth, and I’m not so sure I can (or should) hold on to that title for ever (especially in the bedroom). Pubic hair is a natural part of womanhood. Heck it’s almost as if our bodies knew a bundle of hair down south would come in handy 😉 … and I’m sure it even tickles his pecker a little, adding to his pleasurable sensations, so really society, what is the big problem with hair down there?

This “modern” phenomena of hair removal definitely presents me with a dilemma. I write this blog, and have these questions, yet I am not sure if I will abandon the wax or not. Maybe I need some flower power support in my mission towards rocking a tamed bush. Any other young ladies with me?

-Robyn Waite (August 16, 2016)

Why I won’t be taking his Last Name

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My fiancé Matt is my best friend, lover 😉, main squeeze, partner in life (and crime), and soon to be husband. Knowing that our wedding day is not far off, Matt and I have been having recurring discussions about me taking his last name. He knows where I stand – it’s not happening. Now, I know that Matt is okay with my decision to not take his name (after-all, my independence and unwavering commitment to my beliefs, is one of the reasons he loves me). Regardless, as ever, he enjoys trying to get a rise out of me, and has recently been protesting my decision.

Let me make it loud and clear – this is why I won’t be taking his last name:

  1. I feel attached to “Waite” – names are one of THE pillars of identity. If I changed my last name, I would feel stripped of the identity I have owned and nurtured since birth. To me, it’s not just a last name – it is who I currently am – and isn’t that who Matt wishes to marry?
  2. I have a legacy to uphold – sure, sure, I am young with many years ahead of me. But seriously, I am proud of the years and family behind me. Regardless of size or clout, I have a legacy of 26+ years under the name of Robyn Waite. If I change my last name, what happens to those years? How do I remain indefinitely linked to them? Matt and I did a road trip across New Zealand this past February. We visited the graveyard where his grandparents are buried. Walking through the rows of tombstones trying to locate his family, we realized that women had no maiden names engraved on their headstones. Who were they before marriage? Sure, we live in an age of great technological advances – but I am not confident that the legacy of “Robyn Waite” would follow me if I became “Robyn Herbert” – and I am not willing to risk being separated from my heritage.
  3. I am not to be possessed – there is something about the history and practice of a women taking a man’s last name that doesn’t bode well with me. Why should I even have to question changing my last name when society puts no such pressures on Matt? Why does coming together in marriage mean that we women, typically and traditionally, take on the man’s family name? I will not enter into a life long partnership with the man that I love feeling subordinate. We are equals.
  4. When has doing something simply out of convenience ever been a good idea? – the main (and best) argument I have heard for taking Matt’s last name despite my  personal hesitations, is that it would be convenient. If we were both “Herbert” it would be clear what family name our children would have; our future children wouldn’t have to question why mommy has a different last name; in social settings everyone will assume I’m Herbert anyways, etc. Well, I am happy for my children to take Matt’s last name, and I don’t really mind if people call me Mrs. Herbert out of assumption. But I will not make a decision to take his last name simply because it is convenient. Besides, the endless paperwork associated with changing my last name seems more like an inconvenience.

I recently told Matt that I would take his last name if it really meant that much to him. I regret making that statement, for if I did take his name, it would be out of pity and against my ethos. Thankfully, Matt would never want me to do such a thing (although I suspect this will be a topic used to push my buttons for years to come). Luckily for you babe, I shall remain, forever and always, the bewildering and savvy, Robyn Waite.

Robyn Waite (July 17, 2016)